


Perfect

by cullens_pet



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-04
Updated: 2012-09-04
Packaged: 2017-11-13 13:13:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/503895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cullens_pet/pseuds/cullens_pet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Don't," I cut her off cruelly. I stood to leave and then turned back toward my broken witch. "Know this, Hermione. You are mine. You've always been mine. And I will wait for you until you realize it." Draco has fallen in love against his better judgement. Angsy one-shot from his POV.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Perfect

**Author's Note:**

> So, it's been a little while since I wrote one of these. This is just a little angsty one-shot that I wrote to the song Perfect by My Darkest Days, which just happens to be one of my favorite bands. If you haven't heard their music, I recommend that you give it a shot. At least this song. I guess this could have existed in canon up until the end. We didn't hear a lot of what was going on with anyone other than Harry. : )

Disclaimer: The last time I checked, I still didn't own the magical realm of Harry Potter. I make no money from this story. All rights belong to JKR. I don't own the song either. It belongs to the band My Darkest Days.

Perfect

I was fine right before I met her

Never hurt and nothing could control me

My world was perfect before I met her on the train to Hogwarts. I was a Malfoy. I was at the top of the food chain, so to speak. I was from the purest of blood, the very height of society.

Nothing ever bothered me. And why should it? I mean, I lived a charmed life. I wore the finest of clothes, ate the most expensive food, and traveled to the most exotic places. I was rich, good looking, and privileged.

That all came crashing down around me once I'd met her.

You know I tried but I can't regret her

She's the first, ask anyone who knows me

I'd been intrigued by the small girl with the big hair on the train. I made my first mistake after inquiring her identity once she'd left our compartment; she'd been on the hunt for some wretches toad. My friend Blaise had informed me that she was a mudblood.

My own blood froze in my veins. My Father, had of course, taught me all about those with inferior blood. I'd never seen one before now. He'd painted a picture of a homely, filthy looking wretch. It didn't match up with the girl at all. In my eyes, she looked just like the rest of us.

I developed a rather unhealthy fascination with the girl. She went against everything that I'd ever been taught. She didn't have terrible manners, she didn't dress in filthy clothes, her magic was strong. I found myself watching her, trying to decipher what made us so different from each other. We were as far apart on the spectrum as we could be with the regards to the purity of our blood, yet I could see no discernable difference between the two of us.

She's the first girl that ever got under my skin. The craziest thing was, she never tried to. She wasn't like most girls. She didn't spend time on her looks. She didn't go out of her way to attract attention from boys. She wasn't interested in dating. She didn't realize how pretty she really was, and that made her even more attractive.

She didn't notice me unless I went out of my way to gain her attention. Oh, how I loved to provoke her. She could give as good as she got. But I had to be careful Father's spies were everywhere and it wouldn't do for a Malfoy to associate with a mudblood in any way.

Terrified that she'd find my heart and break it

Paralyzed by the thought of her with someone else

As the years passed, I'd become more emotionally invested than I should have. I mean, I wasn't even friends with the chit. We could even be classed as pseudo enemies. Afterall, I really harbored no ill will toward her. I only fought with her to get her to look at me. But I couldn't help the anger that tightened in my chest when I saw her look at that pathetic Weasley with lovesick eyes. I couldn't help the fury that boiled through me when I saw her come to the Yule Ball on the arm of Victor Krum.

I couldn't bear the thought that she could be with someone else. Not when she was perfect for me. But the crux of the matter was that I couldn't be with her either.

She was completely off-limits. It didn't matter that she was gorgeous. It didn't matter that she was more intelligent than everyone around her. It didn't matter that her magic was powerful and she was more than capable at wielding it. All that mattered was her lineage.

It all came down to blood.

I wish I would've known

I shouldn't have fallen in love with her

It's been nothing but trouble till now

I shouldn't have fallen in love at all

But I couldn't stop myself

I knew that I shouldn't have let her get to me. I'm not even sure when it happened. It had evolved slowly from a child's curiosity and interest in something that he didn't understand to a full blown need.

A need that I was having an increasingly hard time hiding.

Violence was escalating, especially with the Dark Lord's return. My Father had returned to his side and I knew that it was only a matter of time before I was expected to do so as well.

How could I ever join a cause that I didn't support and that I didn't believe in? And if anyone on that side ever found out about my feelings for her, we were both as good as dead.

What gives her the right

To tear up my life

How dare she be so perfect

What did I do to deserve this?

I was angry during my sixth year. I'd been inducted as the youngest Death Eater in history. It wasn't a source of pride, I'll tell you that much. And the missions I'd been commanded to do.

Impossible.

I knew that the Dark Lord had set me up for failure from the start. I was to be used as an example for my Father's failures.

I was increasingly despondent and stressed as the year wore on. I'd failed to notice that my obsession watching me closely since I hadn't had the time to watch her.

(I'll never let her go)

How dare she be so perfect

It started in the hospital wing. I'd been in a duel with Potter and he'd cursed me with a dark spell. Who knew the boy had it in him? And she came to see me.

It was her face that I awoke to. I thought that perhaps I was dreaming. I was shocked into silence. She had tear tracks staining her face. She dropped my hand when she noticed that I was awake.

"How are you feeling?" she asked quietly.

I stared at her for a long moment before I answered. I couldn't believe that she was really there. I couldn't believe that she even cared. And I wasn't quite sure how to answer. Potter had slit me open end to end. I messed up because she misunderstood my silence.

"It's okay, Malfoy. I know I'm nothing more than a mudblood to you…" she stood and I reached out and grasped her wrist.

"Don't," I said.

"Don't?" she asked in confusion.

"Don't call yourself that," I clarified as I released her wrist and sat up with a wince. "There isn't any difference in our blood. Mine isn't any redder than yours."

"Then why?" she asked. "Why do you fight for him?"

Shock poured through me but I kept my face carefully neutral. How did she know? It wasn't like I went around broadcasting the fact that I was a Death Eater. I stared at her for a few minutes before I finally answered.

""Love," I said. And it was. Love for my mother. She would have suffered a horrific fate if I hadn't accepted the spot in the Dark Lord's army. And I would've been forced to watch if not participate in her demise. There wasn't a choice as far as I was concerned. And the Dark Lord knew it.

She cocked an eyebrow at me as she leaned back and crossed her legs. My eyes immediately went to the smooth patch of thigh that was revealed as her skirt rode up. She blushed and stood, smoothing it down. I winked at her and her face grew redder as she excused herself, nearly running from the hospital wing in embarrassment.

After that, we had many stolen moments. We kept our relationship a secret to the world. Not even our own best friends knew about us. It was far too dangerous.

Those were the best and the worst days of my life. I was coming closer to completing the first of my tasks, something that I should have been elated about, but I couldn't be happy about anything that would drive her away.

We would meet all over the school and the castle grounds. She seemed to know all the good spots to snog where no one would ever catch us. I was little bit jealous when I thought about how she could have acquired this information but I soon forgot my irrational jealousy. Her kisses always left me breathless and wanting more.

I'll never forget the night that she gifted me her virginity. In the back of my mind, I knew that she knew what I was planning the next day. I just knew that it was her last ditch attempt to change my mind. But she didn't understand. No one did. I couldn't not do what the Dark Lord had ordered me to do.

And it cost me the girl that I'd loved.

I haven't cried since the day she left me

Cause that would mean that I admit it's over

After my Godfather stepped in and killed Dumbledore, we fled the castle. Arriving back at the manor, I was completely dejected. I knew that whatever chance I'd ever had with Gryffindor's Princess was gone. She'd never love me after what I did. She would never forgive me for my sins.

I didn't cry though. In my mind, that would have been an act of surrender. I harbored a slim hope, when the war was over, that she'd allow me to explain. I figured that she owed me that much.

I tell myself that she's tryin' to test me

She'd never leave, she still needs me to hold her

Then she got captured. Her and her friends. They looked to me for conformation as they tortured her on the floor. I felt sick, bile rising in my throat. My father was desperate for me to confirm that they were who they thought they were. But I couldn't do it. I couldn't condemn her to die. Despite my actions, I still loved her as I'd loved no other.

Then the elf helped them escape. I only hoped that she would remember that after the war. I wasn't a total coward. I did have some good within me.

Horrified cause' she found my heart and broke it

Mortified when I picture her with someone else

That kiss.

Anger blazed deep in my guts. She and the Weasel had kissed. Fury such as that as I'd never known erupted deep within me even as what was left of my cold, black heart shattered. She kissed him. She'd moved on.

I knew that I shouldn't have gotten close to her. I knew it but she trapped me anyway. It was something that she hadn't done intentionally. She didn't have it in her to be so cold-hearted and vicious.

And I knew all those months ago, when she'd given herself to me, that was her way of saying goodbye. I could still taste her lips on mine. Feel her soft skin against my hands. I could smell her scent as she arched into me. I could still hear her cries of pleasure as I'd given her her first orgasm. I'd been foolish to follow through with my plans. I should have taken Dumbledore's offer of protection.

Then we'd still be together.

I wish I would've known

I shouldn't have fallen in love with her

It's been nothing but trouble till now

I shouldn't have fallen in love at all

But I couldn't stop myself

It was over.

Potter had won.

I watched from the sidelines as everyone tended to the injured. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. I knew she felt my silent censure but she didn't so much as glance in my direction. Not even when the Aurors came and took my father and I into custody.

It was just as well. I was resigned to my fate. At least I wouldn't have to watch the witch that I loved be with another.

What gives her the right

To tear up my life

How dare she be so perfect

What did I do to deserve this?

She spoke as a character witness at my trial. I can't say that I wasn't completely flummoxed by her appearance. I'd expected to spend the rest of my days rotting in Azkzban. But she stood for me, as did Potter.

It reignited my feelings for the diminutive witch all over again. It also rekindled my hope. Hope that once I was released that we could maybe pick up where we left off.

I gotta let her go

How dare she be so perfect

I owled her a month after my release, requesting to meet her for coffee. She accepted and agreed to meet me at a place of my choosing. I was nervous. More nervous than I'd ever been about anything.

She had gotten there before me, of course, and I took the opportunity to look at her. Look at her as I'd never done before. Her hair glinted in the bright sunlight, sparkling with vitality. I could see highlights of blond and red interspersed with the rich toffee color of her hair. Her skin looked as soft as I'd remembered it and glowed with health. Her eyes sparkled as she chatted with the waiter.

Jealousy reared its ugly head once more as I strode with purpose to the table. I wouldn't have some lowly waiter flirting with my witch. I seated myself and cleared my throat loudly to gain the young man's attention.

I smirked as the young man whirled around and paled at my sudden appearance. "Mr. M-Malfoy," he stammered. "What can I get you?"

"Espresso," I responded, my voice crisp with dismissal. It wouldn't be prudent for the man to dawdle. He got the hint and whisked off to fill my order.

I turned my eyes to the vision on the other side of the table. I'd dreamed of this moment for so long. Too bad that it was about to turn into a nightmare.

Her eyes crinkled in mirth. "Really, Draco. Was that necessary?" She waved her hand at the waiter by the bar. He was still casting nervous glances at our table as he worked at the bar. "You scared him half to death," she chided gently.

I didn't answer her. My eyes had fixated on the ring glinting on her left hand. It was an engagement ring, there was no mistaking it.

Hurt welled through my body. It felt worse than the time that I'd been cursed by Potter. I knew it was more than I deserved but how could she?

Tell me why

You started the fire

And played me like that

"Why?" I asked brokenly.

Tears welled in the corners of my eyes. I stubbornly refused to let them fall. I didn't want her to see the level of power that she wielded over me, to see the extent in which I suffered.

"You," she stated carefully. "You left. I didn't know what to think. You never sent me a letter. I thought that you took advantage of me. That I was nothing but some mudblood you deflowered."

I gazed at her, letting my hurt show in my eyes for a moment before closing myself off once more. She was the one redeeming thing in my life, the only goodness I'd ever known and I'd let her slip away.

"It wasn't like that," I replied shakily. "You've always meant more to me than I could ever express. I couldn't owl you. Do you know who was residing at my house? What could've happened if her intercepted my letters? I couldn't endanger you like that. Why didn't you wait for me?"

"I'm sorry!" she blurted. "I didn't know. The thing with Ron just happened."

"Come away with me," I bid. "It's not too late. We could start over."

She looked at me with sorrowful eyes. "Please," I was begging. "I can't live without you. I've tried and I can't do it. I need you."

Her face crumpled and I knew her answer.

"Draco…"

"Don't," I cut her off cruelly. I stood to leave and then turned back toward my broken witch. "Know this, Hermione. You are mine. You've always been mine. And I will wait for you until you realize it."

I walked away from the stunned girl. She really was perfect for me in every way. I just had to wait until she realized it.

~~~FIN~~~


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